In Episode 214 of the Fit Mother Project Podcast, I sit down with author, international speaker and spiritual teacher Luke Storey for one of the deepest conversations we’ve had on this show.
One that has nothing to do with macros, and everything to do with why your health keeps stalling anyway.
Here’s the question that opens the episode.
What if the thing you reach for at nine o’clock at night — the glass of wine, the bowl of ice cream, the endless scrolling — isn’t about any of those things at all?
What if it’s a deeper feeling most of us have been running from since we were kids?
Luke spent nearly three decades running from that feeling through drugs and alcohol, starting at six years old.
He got sober at 26, and has spent the thirty years since doing the inner work that no meal plan can replace.
His new book, A Horse Named Lonesome, is a raw, honest map of that journey — and it’s already earned praise from Marianne Williamson, Steven Pressfield and Paul Chek.
We talk about why loneliness after 40 is one of the most under-addressed health issues of our generation.
When we’re lonely and anxious, our physiology shifts and our life shortens — the research on this is not soft, it’s staggering.
We talk about the patterns we inherit, the core wounds underneath them, and the small, daily practice that finally interrupts the cycle.
And we talk about the thing so many women over 40 are carrying quietly — grief.
Luke had lost his father just weeks before we recorded, and he describes what it looks like to stop running from it and let it move through you.
If you’ve been doing everything right with your diet and training and still feel empty, flat or stuck — this episode is for you.
Rate & Review – If this episode gave you language for something you’ve felt for years, please take a moment to rate and review the Fit Mother Project Podcast. Your review helps more busy moms over 40 find the honest, science-backed guidance they deserve.
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Fit Mother Project Key Takeaways:
- Loneliness after 40 is a physical health issue, not a soft one. A 2015 Brigham Young University meta-analysis of 70 studies and roughly 3.4 million people found loneliness was linked to a 26% higher risk of early death, social isolation 29%, and living alone 32% — and that’s before you count the daily suffering.
- Your cravings are usually a symptom, not the problem. The wine, the sugar, the scrolling at 9PM is often the surface layer of a much deeper feeling — one most of us have been avoiding since childhood. Treat the symptom and it comes straight back.
- Loneliness is really a case of mistaken identity. We spend our lives believing we are our thoughts, our body, our emotions — and that identification creates the sense of separation that no amount of company can fix.
- Patterns repeat until you find their origin. Identifying the pattern doesn’t break it. The pattern is just an indicator light telling you something is broken under the hood — usually a core wound that never got the care it needed.
- Accountability is the way out of victimhood — without shaming yourself. You weren’t responsible for what happened to you as a child. But as an adult, you are responsible for the response, and that’s the most empowered position you’ll ever stand in.
- There’s no good or bad — only thinking makes it so. The thing you were devastated by five years ago is often the thing that served you most. Zooming out to see the greater context is a skill, and it changes how your body carries stress.
- Your mind cannot tell the difference between truth and falsehood. It’s malleable and easily shaped by whatever environment you’re in. Your inner knowing — that felt sense in your body — is the compass. Learn to follow it instead of every thought.
- Meditation isn’t a luxury, it’s the non-negotiable. Luke’s honest framing: nobody has time to sit for 20 minutes twice a day. He does it anyway, because it’s the one habit that reveals what’s actually running underneath the surface.
- Grief is proof of how deeply you were able to love. You don’t grieve what you didn’t love. Reframing grief that way turns it from something to avoid into a portal for expanding your capacity for love.
- Healing yourself is the most powerful thing you can do for your family. Hurt people hurt people — but the opposite is just as true. Do the work and you become a healing presence your kids and grandkids feel without you saying a word.
Loneliness After 40 – With Luke Storey (Ep. 214)
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Not Ready to Join Yet? Start With Our Free 1-Week Plan
If you’d like to try our approach first, the Fit Mom 1-Week Jumpstart is the perfect place to start. It’s a free meal plan and workout made for busy moms over 40 — a real taste of our recipes and workouts, and proof of how simple and sustainable healthy living can be.
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More From Luke Storey
Luke’s new book, A Horse Named Lonesome: Tales and Teachings to Reclaim Connection, Transcend Separation and Discover the Divine Within, releases November 17, 2026.
Pre-order at lukestorey.com/lonesome, and find his podcast, The Life Stylist, wherever you listen.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel and check out our blog, and follow us on Instagram.
*Please know that weight loss results and health changes/improvements vary individually; you may not achieve similar results. Always consult with your doctor before making health decisions. This is not medical advice. This is simply very well-researched information on loneliness, connection, and healthy aging for women over 40.
